All those little things that niggle

I don't know whether it is just age, or what, but I seemingly am becoming less tolerent as I get older. In particular I am becoming a 'pedant'. The greengrocer's apostrophe annoys me beyond belief. Is it so hard to use punctuation correctly? Perhaps it should be compulsive that all potential greengrocers read the excellent book by Lynne Truss Eats Shoots and Leaves at least then they might have some idea of how ridculous their signs are! Or do they now do it to annoy?

Perhaps it is due to the upcoming competition in South Africa that TV and Radio interviewers have brought out of the woodwork some of the dimmest experts I have ever had the misfortune to hear. Plus is this really newsworthy when people are starving and the Carribean is being swamped under millions of gallons of crude oil? Surprisingly not all the world is talking about this event, just as not everybody is waiting with bated breath for the next episode of Eastenders or The Street.

So current expressions that really annoy:

Conversations interspersed with the words 'you know' - no actually I don't I am waiting for you to explain to me!

As do speakers 'umming. I once attended a lecture where the speaker used this 'word' 186 times - I know because I counted, can't remember what he talked about - this habit spoilt entirely what could have been an interesting talk. Even worse both together as in 'you know like, umm you know' heard yesterday on Eurosport 2.

'To be honest'. Needless to say as soon as these three little words are spoken you might as well switch off. The words are unneccesary and add nothing. Indeed 'to be honest' anyone who uses this phrase is probably not telling the truth.

Ditto 'the truth is' when you know jolly well it isn't - this is a favourite of politicians and generally you can say not the truth at all.

The use of the word gender when the speaker means sex. Gender is socially constructed, femimine is gender female is sex! Would you believe on the TV programme Countryfile last Sunday John Craven referred to the gender of cows!!!!!!!!! Aren't all cows female? I agree they might not be very feminine but they are generally female and are given girl's names - Buttercup, Daisy and the like......

Things generally:

Misuse of disabled parking bays

Tattoos - especially on older people.

Body piercing particularly of the tongue.

People talking down to me because I am a paraplegic - it is my legs that don't work not my brain..

Male chauvinists particularly those who work in call centres.

Able-bodied people who step backwards without looking and then say 'watch where you're going' to me! This is directed at the woman in M&S on the Isle of Man whose husband had to forceably restrain her from hitting me because she stepped backwards and fell over - obviously I should have been aware of her intentions and taken evasive action..

Unwanted emails that advertise the best way to watch that competition in the southern hemisphere - five in the last three days - apparently everything that you need to watch, experience and support can be bought at Argos, Tesco, Asda, Sainsburys and M&S! Why do you need a BBQ to watch TV? Answers on a postcard please.

Stupid flags on cars. Shouldn't let it get to me, but all I can think of is the wasted fuel on a planet whose resources are fast running out.

Losing weight and nobody noticing! And what's more I'm still not able to get the size I need - when I was bigger there were always small sizes left, now it is the big sizes on the rail - life's a bitch.


And just because I hate them - Slugs and snails, particularly those that come from next door and eat my delphiniums...